


Talk dirty to me

by dazedwriter



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24213091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazedwriter/pseuds/dazedwriter
Summary: Patrick is away overnight for a conference. David calls him. Smut ensues.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Kudos: 81





	Talk dirty to me

**Author's Note:**

> A short little smut fic that I just had to get out of my system today. 
> 
> I envision it as being post series, but canon compliant.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always much appreciated.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> -dazedwriter

Patrick stood at the window of his motel room, opening the curtains and peering down to the street below. He was in Thornbridge at the regional small businesses conference. It was a two day conference and considering it was a four hour drive to Thornbridge, he stayed the night. The motel was cheap and slightly disheveled, not unlike Rosebud Motel. Patrick walked to the fridge, taking out the beers he had placed there that morning when he checked in. He had spent the day listening to seminars and networking, so he desperately wanted to unwind. He cracked open a beer and sat at the small table in the motel room. His phone rings. It’s David.

“Hey” said Patrick, answering the phone. 

“Hello! I’ve missed you.” said David. 

Patrick chuckled.

“I’ve been gone less than a day.” replied Patrick.

“I know, I know, it’s just the store is so quiet without you and now the prospect of sleeping in our house tonight by myself. I don’t really like that thought.” David looked at his surroundings. He was sitting in their bedroom on the end of the bed. The bed seemed so big without Patrick there. He missed having his husband with him, even if it was just for one night.

“I know, me either, but this is important for our business. I’ve got to keep telling myself that.”

“Oh, so you miss me too?!” said David playfully. 

“David, yes, of course I miss you!” Patrick played into his banter. “I miss seeing you, touching you, kissing you. I hate that I’ll be in a cheap motel bed tonight, when I should be in our luxurious king bed at home with you.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you? Being in bed with me?” David teased.

Patrick rolled his eyes. Thankfully David wasn’t able to see it. David’s banter really was something else. Patrick knew where this was phone call was heading. They had done this before, last time Patrick was at a conference overnight. David attempting to seduce Patrick over the phone, before uttering dirty things to each other, hands eagerly stroking themselves in the process. 

“I think you know how much I like being in bed with you.” Patrick breathed down the phone, in a tone that he knew drove David wild. 

David paused. He knew that tone. Patrick used that tone when things were heading towards sex. He liked when Patrick used it. Just hearing it would often send a shiver down his spine in anticipation. They would have to make do tonight, considering they were physically separated. Whilst actual sex wasn’t an option, there was plenty of other ways to connect. 

“Well…” David trailed off, deep in thought about how to start this.

“Yes?” replied Patrick.

“I’m wondering what you were wearing.” said David. Patrick laughed.

“I’m not wearing anything sexy at all…” he started

“Patrick! You’re ruining the fun!” David teased.

“Sorry, sorry.” said Patrick, realizing his mistake. He wasn’t really used to dirty talk, let alone phone sex. He and David had done phone sex once before, but he was still nervous to be voicing things like that. Patrick tried to play along. “Ok, well I’m wearing nothing but underwear. Tight blue boxer briefs.” 

“Ooh Patrick, that’s a nice image.”

“Hmm.” replied Patrick. “Maybe I’ll move to the bed?” 

He pictured David at home, on their bed probably naked or near to it, his cock slowly hardening. 

“Yes, please.” David replied, eager. The mental image of Patrick lying on a motel bed, in nothing but his tight blue boxer briefs, was hot. He so desperately wanted to be with him in that bed, touching him, kissing him, stroking his cock. David started to feel his own cock hardening at the thought.

“Patrick...”

The line had gone quiet when Patrick moved to the bed. David could hear clothes being removed. He hastily started removing his own too, leaving just his underwear on. 

“Ok, now I am actually in nothing but my boxer briefs.” said Patrick, lying back on the bed. One hand reached down to rub his rapidly hardening cock. Just the thought of what was about to happen sent blood rushing south. 

“Hmm and what are you doing baby? Lying on the bed?” David purred. He moved onto he and Patricks king sized bed, lying back on Patricks pillow. The smell comforted him. 

“Yes.” said Patrick, looking down at the outline of his now hard cock in his boxer briefs. “I’m hard, David.”

“Oh.” started David, reaching down to rub his own cock over his underwear. “Well good news, I am hard too.”

Patrick quietly moaned at the thought. David loved hearing the sounds Patrick made during sex. He was so vocal and so passionate. The sounds he made drove David absolutely wild.

“Yeah, baby, hmm those sounds, you’re thinking about my cock aren’t you?” said David, slowly starting to remove his underwear.

“Yeah… It’s so good David. So thick, so big. I love it when you fuck me. You fill me up so well.” 

Patrick had removed his boxer briefs and was slowly stroking his hard cock. He was thinking about David, how turned on David got him, how he often wouldn’t last very long with David involved. He was thinking about David lying on their bed right now, stroking himself. He had such a fantastic cock. Patrick loved it. Loved it when it was in his hand, his mouth or inside him. He started stroking himself faster. 

David groaned down the phone. Patrick was new to dirty talk but fuck he did it well. At least David thought so. He could hear a slight movement in the background of the phone line. He knew that was Patricks hand wrapped around his cock, jerking himself off. David couldn’t wait anymore. He removed his underwear and wrapped one hand around his own cock and started pumping it. 

“Are you touching yourself, David?” said Patrick.

David loved how often Patrick used his name during sex. It was such a turn on.

“Yes I am.” replied David, steadily stroking himself. 

“What are you thinking about?” asked Patrick

“You. You touching yourself. Your hard cock. How I can hear you touching yourself down the phone. How I so want to be there with you, touching you, blowing you, fucking you.” David thrusted up into his own hand, moaning breathlessly.

“Tell me more. What would you do if you were here?” said Patrick, still stroking his cock. Hearing David talk about what he would do to him always pushed him to the edge.

“Patrick…” David started. He grabbed some lube from his bedside drawer. Patrick could hear the click of the lid down the phone.

“Oh, what’s that I hear? Someones got lube?” said Patrick, still stroking himself. 

“Yes, well, to do what I want to do, I need lube.” said David, coating his index and middle finger with it. “To answer your previous question, if I were there, I would be lying next to you, touching myself, before starting to stroke your hard cock slowly. You’d be moaning and I’d be using my other hand to play with your nipples. Just once I think you’re getting close, I’ll pull back.” 

Patrick moaned, writhing into the bed. “You’re always such a fucking tease, David Rose.” Patrick was getting ridiculously close. He slowed his hand down to try and bide more time.

David continued “then I’d lie back down, bring my knees up and spread my legs, ass hole ready. You’d try to touch me, but I’d push your hands away. Instead I put two of my own fingers on my ass hole, circling gently, before pushing them in one at a time. I would do it slowly, teasing you, making sure you’re watching every single thing. You’d be touching your own cock as I did this, before finally begging me to let you fuck me.” David moved his two lubed fingers to his hole, slowly circling. “Patrick, I’m about to put two fingers in me.”

“Oh fuck David, that’s so hot. I’m so close.” Patrick moaned down the phone, rapidly moving his hand up and down his cock. 

“Ok, they’re in. Nice and deep. I’m thrusting them in and out, whilst my other hand works my cock.” said David.

Patrick was panting. Picturing David finger fuck himself was so hot. 

“Now baby, I need you to do something for me. I need you to lie on your stomach.” said David. He knew Patrick was close and he had a plan. 

Patrick was so close to coming he didn’t even question David as to why. His brain was not good at forming coherent thought when he was in this state. He rolled over, head on pillow.

“Ok, done.” said Patrick. His hard cock was now pressed flat up against his stomach, rubbing on the textured motel bedspread. He couldn’t help but thrust his hips onto the bed, enjoying the friction.

“Ok baby, now I need you to picture that it was I who flipped you over. I’ve spread your cheeks and am slowly working on opening up your hole with my fingers.” moaned David, he was so close himself. He continued to jerk himself as he spoke.

Patrick started thrusting harder and harder into the bedspread, sending breathy moans down the phone. David sounded much the same, intermittent pants and moans in between the dirty talk. 

“I’m so close, David.” Patrick moaned.

“Hmm not yet baby, I haven’t even started fucking you yet.” David was oh so close, but he wanted to see out the plan. 

Patrick cried out in frustration. 

“You’re now in the exact position you are now, lying face down on the bed, head in pillow. You’ve lifted your hips in anticipation. You’re eager for me to fuck you. You start reaching a hand around to your ass, slowly pushing one finger in. Patrick can you do that for me? Finger yourself?”

“Hmmm David, I- I- I’m just so close. I-“ Patrick writhed on the bed. 

“Do this for me, please” asked David. “You have lube yeah?”

Patrick grabbed the travel lube he had put on the bedside drawer earlier. He popped the lid.

“Yes, baby, coat those fingers for me.” breathed David, hearing the lid click.

Patrick coated his fingers and pushed one into his hole, moaning in the process. 

“Patrick… tell me what you’re doing.” said David, hearing his moans down the line. 

“I’ve pushed two fingers in myself, and I’m grinding my hard cock up against the bed.”

David moaned at the thought. His husband, alone in a motel, finger fucking himself and grinding his hips. He stroked himself harder. His fingers were still coated in lube, so he returned them to his ass hole. 

“I’m imagining my fingers are your big cock, David.” Patrick thrusted further into the mattress, pushing his fingers in and out of his asshole at a rapid rate, picturing that it was actually David fucking him on this motel bed. Patrick let out one big groan before coming hard, fingers still inside himself. He grabbed the sheets with his free hand in a vice like grip, moaning extra hard down the phone for David. Cum spurted all over the bed and his stomach.

Hearing Patrick come was enough to tip David over the edge. He came hard, one hand wrapped around his cock, the other had two fingers in his ass. Cum spurted all over his stomach, leaving a trail of white streaks. He groaned, hoping Patrick could hear how good that made him feel. 

The phone line was silent for a few minutes as they both regained a sense of coherency. Patrick had rolled over, observing the mess he had made in the sheets. He grabbed some tissues from the bedside table and wiped himself down. He could hear that David was still breathing heavily. 

“You ok?” 

“Yeah” sighed David. “I just had phone sex with my sexy husband so I’m still recovering.”

Patrick laughed.

“Funny thing, so did I.” moving to get off the bed. He removed the bedspread, the one covered in semen and threw it over a chair. 

“I don’t think the motel cleaning staff are going to like me very much.” said Patrick.

“Made a bit of a mess, did we?” laughed David.

“You had me on my stomach! Of course I was going to make a mess!” Patrick chuckled.

“Sorry, I just simply had to picture you in that glorious position.”

“Yes, well, good thing it was worth it.” Patrick smiled. “And hey, when I get home tomorrow, we can do that all again, but in person.”

“I’d like that a lot Mr. Brewer.”


End file.
